You Hit me Why?

"You hit me why?"

"I didn't like the shape of my baby sister's poop!"

Seriously folks, I can't make this stuff up. I should have known how my night was going to end up, just by how the day had started off. Ah, it was a snow day, or let's get it right, it SHOULD have been a snow day. Jacob and I anxiously watched the TV while laying in bed waiting to see his school on the screen. No such luck. "Let's watch one more time, mommy, just to be sure." But it wasn't there, and we were now starting our day off already behind because of the minutes wasted to our longing for a snow day.

Jacob was running in slow motion yesterday morning, and no matter how many reminders I gave him I couldn't get his bottom moving. Finally we were out the door and buckled in the car. "Jacob, do you have your backpack?" "Yes". "Your lunch box?" "NO! It's not here." I trudged through the snow back inside the house, searching for his missing baseball lunchbox, the ONLY lunchbox he will use. Not inside. How does a lunchbox go missing from our door to the driveway? We were running late and Jacob's aide who meets him at the school door would have probably already walked in. After tearing the car apart, I ask Jacob to get out of his booster seat and check. Sure enough he was sitting on it. Really? How can you not feel that?

I came home full of mommy guilt from being on Jacob all morning. I hate when our mornings go like that. I hate leaving him like that. And so I vow to have an incredible afternoon and evening with my son!


At 3:30 I head on up to take my place in the pick-up line at school. Normally we are walkers because we live so close to the school. I detest school pick-up. It always seems so pressure filled. And if you don't know the school pick-up rules, you will soon find out! Teachers waving their arms keeping traffic going, parents trying to nudge their minivan ahead of others, and if one car is holding up the line, you can feel the tension in the air. This is why I try to walk most everyday to avoid pick-up at all costs. When you have a child on the spectrum, their fine motor skills tend to be lacking, plus things just take a little longer. The other boy I take home has high functioning Autism, so I would be needing to assist both boys. One of the "rules" of pick-up is that the parents are not to get out of their cars. Impossible when your child has a hard time maneuvering the doors, getting their backpack in, and buckling up. But I had a plan. Jacob was to help his friend buckle his seat belt and then get his own. It's almost impossible for me to reach clear to the back of our minivan. While Jacob is trying to help his friend, I am performing a pick-up sin by standing outside the van door trying to verbally give assistance. No such luck. Jacob had pulled the seat belt all the way out and the only way for it to work would be to put it all the way back in and start over. So that's how I ended up standing in the back of my van door with my bottom side showing to everyone waiting in the pick-up line while I finally get his friend buckled in properly. Oh, yes, I could feel the daggers coming at my back end as I held up the line!


"But I don't want to play in the snow, Mommy," Jacob said as I told him the plan to head outside and go sledding. Jacob doesn't like anything that makes him uncomfortable and playing in the snow involves getting wet, cold and big bulky clothes. Although it takes a lot of persuading, he always has fun. So I helped him pull and tug and after much assistance he had on his boots, snowpants, and gloves. I am so thankful he has learned to zip his coat this year! We head outside and over to the small hill at the school. Jacob has never before wanted to go sledding down the hill, but he went right on up without hesitation. I was proud and surprised. Maybe he has gotten over that fear, I think. He's at the top and heads on down screaming the entire way, but not a "yee haaaa, this is a blast scream", but instead a "this is awful and I am about to get mad scream." At the bottom he is livid, and storms off pulling his sled behind.  He stands on the outskirts fuming as he watches his friends going down the not so very big hill. But to Jacob it is a mountain. How frustrating it must be to watch your friends do something that logically you know you can and should do, but out of fear and anxiety you are unable to enjoy. Finally I convince him to join his friends at the top of the hill, and he has a blast giving them a send off push down the hill. I am thankful he is oblivious to the hurtful comments made by his friends. I'm sure they can't understand either why Jacob is so worked up about something so minor.


At home, I can still sense that Jacob is tense and on the edge ready to lose it at a moment's notice. Just get through dinner, homework, and bed, and tomorrow is a new day I remember thinking. Dinner goes fairly smooth aside from Jacob's normal nightly declaration that he is not eating what is put before him. Seriously? He loves spaghetti. But not tonight. He is delicate tonight and could break at any point.   After dinner the baby sister uses the potty, a big event in our house that draws all of us into the bathroom together. Normally Jacob gets so excited when his baby sister uses her potty chair cheering her on in a quiet voice. We have learned from years of Jacob getting upset, to cheer in a loud whisper so it isn't too overwhelming for him.  While my husband and I are praising our baby girl, Jacob looks at me and says, "That does not count!" and stomps out of the bathroom. I should have let him go. Knowing he was on the verge of a meltdown, I shouldn't have followed him, but I hate to see my son upset, so I did and asked him why he was upset.

And that's when he hit me. Full on, hard core hit to the stomach. Why? Yes, you read it at the beginning. He didn't like the shape of his sister's poop. Was that the real reason. I highly doubt it. I'm guessing it was just at that moment he chose to really let out all his frustration from the day. He was sent to his room for the remainder of the night. Not the strictest of punishments many would say, but for Jacob it is torture to not be near us. Surprisingly he didn't come out, and I could hear him praying to God.

"Dear God, I am really mad right now. Please don't EVER let my sister poop again."

I'm thinking that prayer might just go unanswered.