A Different World View

When you have a child with Aspergers you see the world in a totally different way. You are aware of all the little things in life that you are normally quick to dismiss. Every minute is captured. Every detail is noticed. Why? Because your child points them all out.

Jacob is an observer. He always has been. As an infant he was very content with sitting in his bouncy seat watching the world and taking it all in. Once he began talking, he pointed to everything wanting to know the names of every object, and with his incredible memory, he never forgot them. Around age 3, he was no longer satisfied with knowing the names, he now wanted to know how to spell them. I'm guessing that is how he learned to read at such a young age, because no one formally sat down and showed him how.

Not only is he an observer, he is a talker. Jacob comments on everything! Everything he sees, he either asks questions or makes a comment. Some days I just want a little silence. But most days it is refreshing to see how my son views the world.

Take the other day for example. Jacob was supposed to be getting dressed for school. I go into my bedroom to remind him for the fourth time that he should be getting dressed, only to find him standing there in his birthday suit staring at "The Cat in the Hat" on TV. I patiently remind him what it is he is supposed to be doing, and he says, "Oh yeah!" and starts getting dressed. Then he proceeds to tell me, "Mommy, did you know that I always get dressed the same way? First I put on my underwear, then my pants, then my socks, and last my shirt." So I tell him that I put my clothes on in a different order. He looks at me for the longest time and just stares, taking in what I have told him as if he had never realized there was another option. This morning I noticed he put his pants on last.

Many of his comments or questions I simply do not have the answer for. I certainly don't consider myself uneducated. It's just many of the things he asks I have never taken the time to actually think about. For instance, yesterday afternoon as we were riding in the car he asked me, "Mommy, does every bird have its own tweet, just like humans each have a different voice?" Ok...wasn't ready for that one. Jacob loves his animals, but not particularly birds, so I can't say I am well read on the subject. I started to reply and than thought better and just said, "You know, I really don't know. We'll have to find out."

Most of his questions and observations come during our quiet times together, typically in the car or walking home from school. The other day he asked me how the squirrels picked which trees they would put their nest in, and then wanted to know why the tree we were in front of had been skipped. Hmm...again, don't know much about the squirrel population other than they better stay out of my flowers this spring!

"A man's accomplishments in life are the cumulative effect of his attention to detail." ~John Foster Dulles

One of the most surprising things he commented on at the age of 5 was telling me which houses in our neighborhood had the same floor plans as ours. He said, "Look Mommy, that house is the same as ours but doesn't have as many front steps."  I have lived in this neighborhood 10 years, and had never noticed. About the same time he went over to a friend's house after school and when he came home I asked if he had fun. He proceeded to tell me in detail how our floor plans were the same and how our houses differed. I remember him saying, "Isn't it interesting that their bathroom is not in the same place!" Yes, my sweetheart, very interesting.

Last week while stopped at a stop light, he commented to my husband that it is ok to take your hands off the steering wheel when at a red light. He had obviously noticed my husband's typical response while waiting for the light to change. My husband decides to explain the proper driving technique and tells Jacob that when you are first learning to drive you put your hands on "10 and 2" just like a clock. Sure enough as we pull away and my husband casually puts his hand on the bottom of the steering wheel, Jacob points out that he is not doing it correctly.

Many times his questions revolve around God. God and heaven are very hard concepts for him to understand. They are for anyone, but someone visual who needs something concrete has a lot of questions. Those are the hardest ones, explaining something he can not see. He usually wants to know what heaven looks like and one time was concerned if there would be bathrooms.

What I have learned from reading countless books is that it is believed people with Aspergers have a weak Central Coherence, which basically means they see the parts but not the whole picture. They pick up on the smallest of details that others overlook, yet are unable to understand the whole situation. The Central Coherence is the ability the brain needs to process the world around us. Information is taken in and received in small pieces instead of viewing the big picture.

It certainly is an interesting concept, and makes complete sense, at least for what I see in Jacob.
Whether you look at it as a deficit or not, it is still remarkable. And if nothing else it makes me look at myself and think, "What else am I not noticing?" and take a little closer look at life.