Oh, What a Night...

The other night was one of the most highly anticipated nights for any elementary school age child, right up there with Christmas, Halloween, and Easter. The School Fun Fair!

Of course we were among the first to arrive. We've learned over the years that Jacob needs this. Walking into a room full of people can be overwhelming for anyone, for Jacob it is torture. He needs to get there early to get grounded and assume a sense of security. So I knew we would be there to get the party started, and would be closing the place down.

Thankfully my sister had volunteered to watch our baby, so the night was all about Jacob. He was thrilled! A gym full of inflatables, snacks, games, prizes, everything a little boy would want. It didn't take long for my arms to be overflowing with trinkets, lemon lime soda, and yummy desserts from the cake walk. The night was going perfectly!

That is until we found the balloon animal room. I knew the second we walked in that this was going to be a problem. There was a sign reading, "One Balloon Animal per Wrist Band." Ok...we have one child, and one wrist band. The sign next to it had a list of each of the balloons you could pick from: hearts, stars, swords, dogs, dinosaurs, and giraffes. Uh oh! I knew it wasn't going to be pretty. But Jacob has surprised me before, so I turned to him to see his reaction. Jacob apparently had read the sign as well, and looks at me and says, "But I want both." He didn't have to tell me which two he wanted. Last year his obsession had been with dinosaurs. And he has always had a thing for safari animals, so the giraffe was a given. "Jacob, it says just one." "No," he yells, "I want both!" I knew things were spiraling out of control quickly. I was alone to fight this battle as my husband had kindly volunteered himself and was working his magic in the pop toss room. At this point Jacob is sitting right in front of the doorway sobbing loudly. Looking around at the plethora of balloons I too am questioning the limit of one. I go over to Jacob and quietly try explaining the rules again desperate to help him make a decision and avoid a meltdown. We were deep in the building and carrying 70 pounds of screaming child out the front door was not going to happen. My friend happened to be near by, and told me to just talk to the lady and she would understand. I debated if it was best to let the meltdown continue or try to squash it before it got really out of control. "Just tell them," I think. "There are plenty of balloons. Tell them!" "Tell them! Tell them!" But it is not my mind saying "tell them" at this point, but Jacob. Jacob doesn't know he has Aspergers, so it is not that he is wanting me to share that info. He is wanting me to tell them that he likes both and can't decide. Is it worth the fight? Do I make my child the exception?

I've never wanted Jacob's Aspergers to be a crutch or excuse. I knew I had to make a quick decision and it had to happen now as people were beginning to look and I did not want his classmates seeing Jacob this way. I turn to the balloon lady, and I'm guessing my face said it all. She kindly said, "What is it that he wants?" And I told her he was having a hard time deciding between the two. I could have left it at that. I could have just let her think my unruly child is a little monster and always gets his way. But I couldn't. I looked at her and said, "My son has Aspergers. He isn't throwing a fit to be a brat. He just can't make a choice. Both dinosaurs and giraffes are special to him. Had one not been on the list, there wouldn't have been a problem at all." She worked swiftly to make the balloons for my son still slumped by the door, but who had stopped crying. As she handed me the balloons, I thanked her with tears in my eyes.

I found Jacob next door in the pop toss room with his dad. He had left because while the balloons were being made, one had popped and it was too loud for him. He was thrilled with his new balloon creations and couldn't wait to show daddy. Jacob hands them back to me, and gets in line for his own turn to win yet another bottle of lemon lime soda. With my over filled arms, I tuck the balloon animals into his Toy Story goodie bag and that's when I hear a "pop". Surely that isn't what I think? Please say I didn't just do that. Not after the nearly 20 minutes I spent with the balloon lady. But oh, yes, I had popped the giraffe. And of course, Jacob hadn't missed a beat. He stepped out of line and came over to examine the shrinking giraffe. Seriously? Is this really happening. Just when I think we could move on. There was no way I could go back and ask for a third animal, but I knew Jacob would not let it go. That's when my teenage neighbor girl who happened to be in the room, came to the rescue. Knowing Jacob his entire life, she too knew how important this was to him, and she headed out to find the balloon lady in hopes of a replacement giraffe for my son.

The end of the night had arrived and there was only 10 minutes left of the fun fair. Jacob was making his final rounds replaying all his favorite games, when all of a sudden a loud alarm fills the school building. The fire alarm! Every child with sensory processing disorder's nightmare.  It was loud and there were people everywhere trying to navigate to the exits in an unfamiliar building. Children were crying all around us frightened and trying to find their parents. The school staff was panicky trying to figure out if this was for real or a prank gone bad. But amongst all the chaos and confusion, there was my son. Something that years before would have sent him into utter panic running with wild abandonment, here he was now holding his hands over his ears and patiently walking toward the exit without hesitiation. He was fine with a surprising calmness about him, and I couldn't have been more proud.

On the way to pick up his baby sister, I am reflecting on the night. The lows of the balloon battle to the highs of the fire alarm. But the best part for me was seeing Jacob with his friends. From the little girl in his class who picked him to race to the top of the inflatable mountain, to the friend who practically broke his arm off from four tables away, wanting Jacob to sit by him in the lunch room while eating dinner. All in all it had been a good night. I ask Jacob what was the highlight of his night, and he says, "the balloon animals, of course." as he holds tightly to his creations. "Of course," I think with a smile on my face.