Dear Ignorant Facebook User: A letter in Response to your Statements about People with Autism in the Workplace

Dear Ignorant Facebook User,

I admit when I read your comments yesterday, I was mad. I was boiling mad, and I'm sure my responses made that apparent. But today with a clear head, I have realized that being angry isn't going to help anything. You see, it's not your fault. You don't know any better.

In your mind you have a vision of what Autism looks like. From your statements in response to this article 1 in 3 Autistic Young Adults Lack Jobs, I can tell you believe people with Autism can not communicate at all and are in their own little world. I don't blame you. This is the image typically portrayed by the media and entertainment industries. And for some that very much is a reality of Autism. My heart aches for those families faced with severe Autism, those that want nothing more than a glimpse into their loved one's world.

But what you fail to realize is that Autism is a spectrum disorder. A group of disorders with similar features, ranging from very mild to severe. Where your image is to the far edge of the spectrum, my son falls on the extreme other side. His symptoms are slight and may go unnoticed. Unless you really spend time with my son you wouldn't even know that he has Aspergers. You may think he is immature, naive, quirky, or odd, but your first thought would not be Autism. He would gladly engage you in conversation. In fact, he could talk all day to you without pausing. He loves a captive audience.

My son met all his milestones on time or early, just as probably your child. I was told over and over he was fine, despite my concerns. Many times it can go undiagnosed for years. That is why it is common for adults to get diagnosed for the first time. We were lucky that we caught our son's Aspergers early at age six. The average age for an Aspergers diagnosis is eight.

You stated "Autistic people have no self control or common sense, and that employers can not take that risk by hiring them". What kind of "risk" are you referring to? I'm sorry I do not view my son as a "risk". I do not think my son having a hard time following social ques makes him a "risk".

What you may not realize is there may be people you work with that have Autism, and you do not know. I guarantee there are children in your kids school that have Autism and you are unaware. At school my son receives no para support throughout the day and functions just as every other child in the class. He meets or exceeds the expectations in everything aside from understanding social skills, such as interrupting and personal space.

You also stated, "Like it or not, communication skills are essential in a community. It doesn't do much good to be brilliant if someone cannot handle social interaction" in response to me outlining the things my six year old is capable of doing. Apparently you have never seen the "Social Network" or heard the speculation of Mark Zuckerberg founder of Facebook having Aspergers. I do believe you have no argument there, as he is by far a brilliant successful young man who is socially awkward.

And then you went on to say that maybe there should be special workplaces just for those who are much higher functioning. Umm....really? I think we have stepped back a few generations with that one. Separate but equal ring a bell? Just as my son is capable of going to school right next to yours, he will also be doing the same once he enters the workforce. And again another favorite thing you said, "But it's not just a matter of society just "accepting" all autistic people, as if it's racism." All I can say to that is "WOW"!

I also did not appreciate that you referred to people with Autism as "handicaps". You didn't even say "they are handicapped". Instead you said that you have known a few handicaps. Really? I would have thought that terminology would have gone away a long time ago. I'm not thinking that is quite PC.

And then you say, "it would be ridiculous to just think people need to be more accepting because they are handicapped." Again, really? What would be so wrong with teaching acceptance and understanding? Why is my child less, that he should not be accepted? Why can't people be more accepting of others differences? Why do we all have to fit into some perfect little mold, and if for some reason you see the world differently than you are wrong? That's all it is, Ignorant Facebook User. My son sees the world different than you. He is not less. He is not more. He is not handicapped. He is a child who happens to have Aspergers.

Autism is not going away. Just last month the numbers came out that 1 in 88 kids is diagnosed with Autism. Instead of brushing them aside as they become adults as you imply, we need to ready them with the skills they may be lacking to prepare them for their futures. But more importantly, we need to teach acceptance and understanding to others, so the stereotypes associated with Autism are diminished and people see the wonderful things they are capable of accomplishing.

Later you went on to say "...neither is what I said untrue simply because it doesn't feel fair to you."
My problem with your statements is NOT that I think it is unfair that young adults with Autism are lacking in jobs. I do NOT feel that someone should simply hand my son a job when he becomes of age simply because he has Aspergers. I want him to become a productive citizen and gain employment for his hard work, knowledge, and perseverance. I do not want him to ever use his Aspergers as a crutch. I want him to hold himself to the highest standards and expectations.

I do not know what the future holds for my son. Like any mother, I worry about where his path leads him. But I also know that he will do something incredible. That is not me with blinders on dreaming for a cure for my son to prosper. No, that is me being realistic. My son amazes me everyday. Every day! It will not be an easy road for him. There may be times he veers off the path, or the road becomes too bumpy to bear. But he will remain on that road and he will succeed.

All I ask is that you open your eyes and realize that Autism encompasses so much more than the image you have in your mind. 1 in 88 children are diagnosed. At some point Autism will hit a little closer to home for you, and then maybe you will gain some acceptance and understanding.

Signed,
A Loving Aspergers Mom