It's Taco Bell, Not the Ritz Charlton!

I realized today we are THAT family. You know the one I'm talking about. The one that draws the attention of everyone in the restaurant. The one where the kids appear out of control despite the parents best efforts. Or maybe the parents seem oblivious to their disorderly children. Or maybe the parents are just plain over it! At some point everyone in the restaurant notices this family. What I ask is for you to see that family in a different light.

That family is my family.

Today was to be a lazy day at our house. When I asked my husband what he wanted to do today, he wanted to go to Taco Bell and try the new Doritos taco. A simple thing and kind of an odd request. So that was the only thing we were wanting to accomplish today. Easy enough.

I felt like the dynamics changed the second we walked into the restaurant. The baby girl was thrilled to find a long booth spanning the entire wall and quickly started crawling on it. At two this isn't that big of a deal. The restaurant was fairly empty and no one was occupying the seats. But the problem began with Jacob thinking he could do it as well. Seeing a 6 year old who is much more the size of a 9 year old crawl around on a booth does appear odd and unruly. My husband and I ordered, rounded up the troops, and found our spot with both kids sitting on the long booth.

For the most part the meal was going well. No one was loud and everyone was staying seated. That is a HUGE problem for Jacob. Dinner time at our house consists of Jacob many times pacing back and forth in the dining room while chewing his food. Particularly when he is talking, he has to walk back and forth. So for him to remain seated, is a challenge. At that moment we probably appeared like every other family in the Taco Bell.

Jacob finished first as he typically does, and usually at this point is when he tries to lay down. If he is in a booth he sprawls out, or sometimes he tries to descend to the floor below to lay. It stems from him eating too much too quick and he needs to rest his tummy. We have discussed this in detail on so many occasions, yet it happens more often than not. So Jacob lays down on the extra large booth, first just a little bit. I tell him to sit up, which he doesn't do. I can tell the woman and her teenage daughter who have now sat on the end of the booth are annoyed by the looks they share and the eye rolling our way. Trust me, I know how it all looks. Yes, my son looks like a brat.

Instead of sitting up, Jacob spreads out completely and with his large size his legs reach to the woman's purse clear on the other end. Again, "Jacob sit up!" I order. Reluctantly he does after kicking her purse a few more times, and I apologize to the woman. I notice the looks exchanged again as they continue eating their tacos.

We are finishing up when Jacob announces his tummy doesn't feel well. This too is our typical restaurant ritual. Jacob says his stomach hurts and one of us runs him to the bathroom. My husband quickly guides Jacob to the restroom, and I see that the woman on the end mouths the word, "Good" as they get up. Really? I'm so sorry we ruined your lunch, lady. But it's Taco Bell not the Ritz Charlton!

The thing is, I know my son can be annoying. I live with him. There are times where I want silence. There are times I want him to just be still. I get it! So I can completely understand people's looks, and of course I would feel awful for being disruptive, but I'm sorry, I had to say something. I was fuming.

I filled up our drinks, grabbed the baby girl, and walked over to their table. I am guessing she was expecting an apology. Sorry lady, I already gave you one, and one apology is enough. Instead I said this, "I just wanted you to know, my son is not a brat. He has Autism. Sitting is a challenge for him."

I could tell she was taken aback by my words. Her reply in a huffy way, "That's fine, but he was kicking my purse."

Ok lady, I get it, but if you think I am saying sorry again after how you reacted you are crazy. Instead I said, "I realize that, but I thought you needed to know WHY he was acting that way." She just stared at me. She had no idea what to say. I walked over to wait for my son and husband to exit the restroom.

The lady and her daughter finished their meals quickly and headed out the door. Jacob and my husband came out right behind them. As we were walking out, Jacob was singing and had a big smile on his face. Right in front of us was the woman getting ready to back out of her parking spot. I hope she saw my son. I mean REALLY saw my son. I hope at that point she was maybe feeling a little bad for her reaction and preconceived ideas about him. I hope she realized that maybe these parents have a lot on their plate, much more than purses being kicked. I hope she felt like a heel. But more than anything, I hope she realizes that things are not always as they appear. There is always much more under the surface. And I hope the next time a little boy kicks her purse she has learned some tolerance, and kindly smiles to the parents and says, "It's ok. Don't worry about it." Because I'm sure those parents could use a little compassion instead of judgment.

Maybe next time she can "Think Outside the Bun".