"Mommy, I don't care! I just want them to be my friends!"

Last night was a rough one at our house. I knew it was coming the minute I picked Jacob up from school.

"Mommy, Guess who is coming over after school?" Jacob asked.

"Hmm...I'm not sure. I didn't know anyone was coming over," I replied trying not to encourage the whole thing as I knew where it was going.

Jacob went on to tell me that one of the neighbor boys was coming over after school. He said he had asked him at recess, and the neighbor boy said he would be over. So of course Jacob was anxious to get home to wait for his friend.

The second we pulled in the driveway Jacob was wondering why his friend wasn't at our house yet. I've tried explaining to Jacob that sometimes people will say "yes" to something just because they don't want to hurt someones feelings. But he doesn't get that. He always takes people's word for exactly what they say.

I had a feeling the neighbor boy had done just that and had no intention of coming over. I'm guessing he was just tired of Jacob's relentless asking and just gave in and said, "yes".

I convinced Jacob to wait a few minutes and then he could go check on his friend. Sure enough, Jacob came home saying that his friend was not home and his sister had said to check back in an hour. So the next hour was quiet, but as soon as the hour was up, Jacob was sprinting out the door.

This time the neighbor boy was already outside playing with the other neighbor boy. Jacob ran right up to join them. As I stood on our porch watching, I could tell by the other boys' body language they were not welcoming Jacob to play. But body language is lost to Jacob and he continued to push forward. There was no playing by the boys. Instead I could tell they were deep in conversation about something. I'm guessing they were trying to dismiss Jacob with little luck.

I sat down to watch how this would all play out, and it wasn't long before I heard the boy who had promised to come over say to Jacob, "Wow! Did you just hear that? That was my mom saying it was time to come in and go to bed!"

*sigh*

It was 5:45.

But Jacob still didn't pick up that these boys were trying to ditch him. My husband who was also outside at this time walked by and helped get a game of kickball started. By this time there were 4 boys including Jacob. I am thankful that Jacob loves playing sports to at least help bridge that gap a little with his peers.

I settled in on the porch, relaxing slightly knowing that if they began to play something they wouldn't be as quick to get rid of Jacob. But as I listened I heard a lot of "Jacob, no!" or "Jacob stop!" Jacob knows the rules of kickball from playing everyday at recess, but wasn't getting all the cul-de-sac rules that I'm sure have been in place for years.

As I observed a little closer, I realized that the teams were 3 on 1 with Jacob being on his own team. I quickly clued my husband in, who again went over to help set things straight.

The boys returned to playing, and I went into the garage to continue with the never ending unpacking. I could hear the boys loud screaming as I worked. But before long, it was completely silent. I stepped out to the sidewalk unable to find any of the boys. I knew immediately that Jacob had gone into one of their houses. Right now he is obsessed with going into the neighbor's houses. The other day while at a garage sale he tried to open someones door and walk right in.

So I sent my husband on the mission to find Jacob. Sure enough he found him in one of their houses. The other boy was holding two baseball bats high above Jacob's reach as Jacob jumped up to get them.

I heard them before I saw them. Jacob who was sobbing loudly in between screams, which in turn made the baby girl cry as well. I'm sure it brought everyone to their windows to see what the commotion was in the street.

Welcome to the neighborhood!

As my husband wrangled Jacob and the baby girl inside, I knew my drill and began locking doors, securing the perimeter, knowing Jacob likes to bolt at a moment's notice.

Once inside I found Jacob beyond upset, and my husband was barely holding it together himself while both kids bawled around him.

I began asking Jacob to take deep breaths and did so myself. We had learned about the benefits of this at our last support group meeting. It wasn't long before the entire family was sitting on the couch just breathing together. Surprisingly it did help some, and as Jacob calmed down I began to tell him why he was brought home.

I told him how he was not in trouble at all, and that we brought him home because the neighbor boys were not playing nice tonight.

"But Mommy, I don't care!," he yelled back. "I just want them to be my friends!"

It breaks my heart that my son wants friends so badly he is willing to put up with them being mean just so he isn't alone. He knew they were being mean. Where I thought it was lost on him, he knew. Yet, he didn't care because he wanted so badly to be included.

I've said this before. I do not believe that kids with Aspergers are loners. They very much desire human contact and friendships. It's after getting beaten down so many times they decide it is easier to be alone. And it's my job to make sure that doesn't happen to Jacob.